Editor’s note: Kara Alaimo is an associate professor of communication at Fairleigh Dickinson University. Her book “Over the Influence: Why Social Media Is Toxic for Women and Girls — And How We Can Take It Back” was recently published by Alcove Press. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook and X.
Most parents probably wouldn’t let their kids go to bars and nightclubs where they could meet adults who might harm them. But many parents do let them use social media, where some children are connecting with predators who go on to sexually assault them, say researchers slated to speak about these findings Sunday at the 2024 American Academy of Pediatrics National Conference and Exhibition in Orlando.
The new study, to be presented at the conference, found that about 7% of children ages 10 through 18 who were treated for sexual assault at a California hospital between 2018 and 2023 said that social media had facilitated their communication with their perpetrator. When the researchers looked only at cases of sexual assault by perpetrators who weren’t related to their victims, the number was even higher: Twelve percent of the children said their communications with their perpetrator led to their sexual assault.
The average age of the victims in the study was 13, and 89% of them were female, while about 80% of the perpetrators were adult men.
Lead study author Dr. Shalon Nienow said follow-up research that she is conducting with more recent data suggests the percentage of sexual assaults of children by acquaintances tied to social media apps is now significantly greater.
“Social media is a ubiquitous form of communication for children and adolescents that can breed a false sense of security and ‘friendship’ with those that they meet online,” said Nienow, medical director of the Chadwick Center for Children and Families at Rady Children’s Hospital-San Diego.
“It is our experience that in cases of acquaintance sexual assault, social media plays a significant role in facilitating communication and connection between victims and their perpetrators.”
Talking to kids about online safety and consent
The threat from social media has changed the ways parents need to protect their kids.
“In the past, knowing where your children were was usually enough, but now sexual harassment and predation can happen in our homes without parents knowing it,” said Anna Akerman, an associate professor in the department of communications at Adelphi University in New York, who studies the impact of media on children. “Sexually victimized adolescents are often reluctant to share their experiences due to feelings of guilt, fear and shame.” She was not involved in the new study.
Such feelings are why it’s important for parents to talk about these risks with their children. Parents need to explain to their kids how predators could contact them online, why they should get a parent’s permission before meeting up offline with someone they first connect with online, and why they should say no if they are asked to do something that makes them uncomfortable.
“Early and open communication regarding body autonomy, safety and consent issues is imperative to creating a sense of mutual trust and understanding between parents and children and to empower children to discuss any concerns that may arise,” said Nienow, who is also an associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of California, San Diego.
Keeping tabs of accounts kids are messaging
It’s also important to keep track of whom your children are talking to on social networks. “Many parents presume that this is a violation of their child’s privacy,” Nienow said. “However, use of phones and social media is a privilege that comes with responsibility.”
This month, Instagram launched new safety features that allow parents to see what accounts their children recently messaged. These safeguards are a promising way for parents to keep tabs on whom kids are in contact with without reading the content of their messages.
Instagram’s new settings for users younger than age 18 allow them only to receive messages from people with whom they’re already connected. However, 16- to 17-year-olds have the option to change their settings, so it’s important for parents to ensure that they don’t do so and that children have accurately reported their ages so that their accounts are marked as teen accounts.
Teaching kids about appropriate content
It’s also important for parents to pay attention to the content their kids are posting on social media, Akerman said.
“Research suggests that teens often inadvertently put themselves at risk by posting images and/or words that could be interpreted as provocative,” she said. “Unfortunately, they are often unaware of the implications of their communications given their naivete, still developing judgment skills and more limited personal experiences when compared to adults.”
One way that teenagers may endanger themselves is by posting sexualized images of themselves. In my research, I found that girls often try to make themselves look “hot” for pictures because they find it’s one of the easiest ways to rack up likes on social platforms. It’s therefore important to talk to children about how posting such images could make them targeted by predators. Parents should also follow what their kids post.
Of course, children often find ways to get around their parents’ rules and safeguards. One girl I interviewed for my book told me her mom didn’t allow her to post pictures of herself in a bikini. Her mom followed her on Instagram to make sure she followed the rule. So, when she was 14 years old, she instead shared her bikini pictures on a different platform. Then she realized that the photos had been reposted on another social media platform — on an account she said seemed to be used for trafficking girls.
“I was scared they could find me and take me,” the girl said.
Thankfully, she went to her mom for help. But, as I’ve warned before, many kids are afraid to approach their parents when they get into scary situations because they are worried about having their phones taken away. That’s why the most important thing parents can tell their children is that, even if they mess up, they can still turn to them for help.
The ability for sexual predators to connect with kids on social media poses a serious danger.
But, as Akerman said, there are commonsense ways parents can teach their children how to protect themselves and keep on top of what they are doing on social networks.
“To the extent that we can monitor what teens do on these platforms and create healthy, open dialogues about their risks we can certainly mitigate this very real, and constantly evolving, risk,” Akerman said.
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