What aliens just wouldn’t get about the human race

Could we have finally made contact with a far-away alien civilization? Probably not, but astronomers engaged in the search for extraterrestrial intelligence (SETI) have picked up a “strong” signal about 64 light years away. Best-case sci-fi scenario, the signal is from an advanced extraterrestrial race. Worst case, it’s just an anomaly.

Either way, some day the human race may be in the presence of aliens, and hoo boy will they have a good time figuring us out.

We have a rectangle that contains all of the knowledge in the world, and we use it to look at cute animals.

Learn another language? Explore the vast cultural treasures of the past? Deepen the – oh, look a baby goat in a sweater!

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We polish and wear shiny little rocks.

How primitive.

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We pay people million of dollars to…pretend to be other people.

And to sing and dance around! Surely compensation for the world’s educators and researchers must be even more princely.

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We trap other species in our houses and pretend they are humans.

And then call this strange ritual “pet ownership.”

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We leak out of our eye holes when we’re sad.

Must be a design flaw.

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We make a sport out of killing ourselves with food

What exactly are “deep-fried Twinkies?” What is a “cheesy volcano burrito?” Please explain.

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We fall through the sky and rocket down hills just for fun.

Are humans not equipped with survival instincts, or do they just not care THAT much?

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We make up all kinds of stories about extraterrestrial beings even though we’ve never MET any.

LOL! Can you imagine? Aliens, with big almond eyes and funny, floppy tentacles? No wonder no one wants to pay this planet a visit when this is what humans think of them.

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We are so YOUNG.

The earth is 4.5 billion years old, and humans have only been around for a measly 200,000 years of it? Such little baby flesh creatures! Adorable.

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