Bernie and Hillary: The toughest call

Editor’s Note: Sally Kohn is an activist, columnist and television commentator. Follow her on Twitter: @sallykohn. The opinions expressed in this commentary are hers.

Like a lot of New Yorkers, I haven’t decided whether I’m voting for Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders in next week’s New York State primary. Have you?

I’ve always screwed up my face at the idea of “undecided voters.” Who are these mythical creatures who could possibly not have made up their minds about such a simple decision?

But here I am, more on the fence than ever, and deeply annoyed.

I was strongly leaning toward Sanders for much of the primary. After all, I’m a populist progressive who loves grass-roots movements and aligns with the equitable ideals and achievements of democratic socialism.

Hillary Clinton accepts the Democratic Party's nomination for president at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia on July 28, 2016. The former first lady, U.S. senator and secretary of state was the first woman to lead the presidential ticket of a major political party.

Before marrying Bill Clinton, she was Hillary Rodham. Here she attends Wellesley College in Massachusetts. Her commencement speech at Wellesley's graduation ceremony in 1969 attracted national attention. After graduating, she attended Yale Law School.

Rodham was a lawyer on the House Judiciary Committee, whose work led to impeachment charges against President Richard Nixon in 1974.

In 1975, Rodham married Bill Clinton, whom she met at Yale Law School. He became the governor of Arkansas in 1978. In 1980, the couple had a daughter, Chelsea.

Arkansas' first lady, now using the name Hillary Rodham Clinton, wears her inaugural ball gown in 1985.

The Clintons celebrate Bill's inauguration in Little Rock, Arkansas, in 1991. He was governor from 1983 to 1992, when he was elected President.

Bill Clinton comforts his wife on the set of "60 Minutes" after a stage light broke loose from the ceiling and knocked her down in January 1992.

In June 1992, Clinton uses a sewing machine designed to eliminate back and wrist strain. She had just given a speech at a convention of the International Ladies' Garment Workers Union.

During the 1992 presidential campaign, Clinton jokes with her husband's running mate, Al Gore, and Gore's wife, Tipper, aboard a campaign bus.

Clinton accompanies her husband as he takes the oath of office in January 1993.

The Clintons share a laugh on Capitol Hill in 1993.

Clinton unveils the renovated Blue Room of the White House in 1995.

Clinton waves to the media in January 1996 as she arrives for an appearance before a grand jury in Washington. The first lady was subpoenaed to testify as a witness in the investigation of the Whitewater land deal in Arkansas. The Clintons' business investment was investigated, but ultimately they were cleared of any wrongdoing.

The Clintons hug as Bill is sworn in for a second term as President.

The first lady holds up a Grammy Award, which she won for her audiobook "It Takes a Village" in 1997.

The Clintons dance on a beach in the U.S. Virgin Islands in January 1998. Later that month, Bill Clinton was accused of having a sexual relationship with former White House intern Monica Lewinsky.

Clinton looks on as her husband discusses the Monica Lewinsky scandal in the Roosevelt Room of the White House on January 26, 1998. Clinton declared, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." In August of that year, Clinton testified before a grand jury and admitted to having "inappropriate intimate contact" with Lewinsky, but he said it did not constitute sexual relations because they had not had intercourse. He was impeached in December on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice.

The first family walks with their dog, Buddy, as they leave the White House for a vacation in August 1998.

President Clinton makes a statement at the White House in December 1998, thanking members of Congress who voted against his impeachment. The Senate trial ended with an acquittal in February 1999.

Clinton announces in February 2000 that she will seek the U.S. Senate seat in New York. She was elected later that year.

Clinton makes her first appearance on the Senate Environment and Natural Resources Committee.

Sen. Clinton comforts Maren Sarkarat, a woman who lost her husband in the September 11 terrorist attacks, during a ground-zero memorial in October 2001.

Clinton holds up her book "Living History" before a signing in Auburn Hills, Michigan, in 2003.

Clinton and another presidential hopeful, U.S. Sen. Barack Obama, applaud at the start of a Democratic debate in 2007.

Obama and Clinton talk on the plane on their way to a rally in Unity, New Hampshire, in June 2008. She had recently ended her presidential campaign and endorsed Obama.

Obama is flanked by Clinton and Vice President-elect Joe Biden at a news conference in Chicago in December 2008. He had designated Clinton to be his secretary of state.

Clinton, as secretary of state, greets Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin during a meeting just outside Moscow in March 2010.

The Clintons pose on the day of Chelsea's wedding to Marc Mezvinsky in July 2010.

In this photo provided by the White House, Obama, Clinton, Biden and other members of the national security team receive an update on the mission against Osama bin Laden in May 2011.

Clinton checks her Blackberry inside a military plane after leaving Malta in October 2011. In 2015, The New York Times reported that Clinton exclusively used a personal email account during her time as secretary of state. The account, fed through its own server, raises security and preservation concerns. Clinton later said she used a private domain out of "convenience," but admits in retrospect "it would have been better" to use multiple emails.

Clinton arrives for a group photo before a forum with the Gulf Cooperation Council in March 2012. The forum was held in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.

Obama and Clinton bow during the transfer-of-remains ceremony marking the return of four Americans, including U.S. Ambassador Christopher Stevens, who were killed in Benghazi, Libya, in September 2012.

Clinton ducks after a woman threw a shoe at her while she was delivering remarks at a recycling trade conference in Las Vegas in 2014.

Clinton, now running for President again, performs with Jimmy Fallon during a "Tonight Show" skit in September 2015.

Clinton testifies about the Benghazi attack during a House committee meeting in October 2015. "I would imagine I have thought more about what happened than all of you put together," she said during the 11-hour hearing. "I have lost more sleep than all of you put together. I have been wracking my brain about what more could have been done or should have been done." Months earlier, Clinton had acknowledged a "systemic breakdown" as cited by an Accountability Review Board, and she said that her department was taking additional steps to increase security at U.S. diplomatic facilities.

U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders shares a lighthearted moment with Clinton during a Democratic presidential debate in October 2015. It came after Sanders gave his take on the Clinton email scandal. "The American people are sick and tired of hearing about the damn emails," Sanders said. "Enough of the emails. Let's talk about the real issues facing the United States of America."

Clinton is reflected in a teleprompter during a campaign rally in Alexandria, Virginia, in October 2015.

Clinton walks on her stage with her family after winning the New York primary in April.

After Clinton became the Democratic Party's presumptive nominee, this photo was posted to her official Twitter account. "To every little girl who dreams big: Yes, you can be anything you want -- even president," Clinton said. "Tonight is for you."

Obama hugs Clinton after he gave a speech at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia. The president said Clinton was ready to be commander in chief. "For four years, I had a front-row seat to her intelligence, her judgment and her discipline," he said, referring to her stint as his secretary of state.

Clinton arrives at a 9/11 commemoration ceremony in New York on September 11. Clinton, who was diagnosed with pneumonia two days before, left early after feeling ill. A video appeared to show her stumble as Secret Service agents helped her into a van.

Clinton addresses a campaign rally in Cleveland on November 6, two days before Election Day. She went on to lose Ohio -- and the election -- to her Republican opponent, Donald Trump.

After conceding the presidency to Trump in a phone call earlier, Clinton addresses supporters and campaign workers in New York on Wednesday, November 9. Her defeat marked a stunning end to a campaign that appeared poised to make her the first woman elected US president.

Hillary Clinton's life in the spotlight

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And it was wonderful to finally be able to vote for a presidential candidate without holding my nose. What a refreshing idea!

But Sanders has never been perfect. His record of obstructing common sense gun control is disturbing. And his rhetoric on racial justice — though certainly improved during the campaign — is clunky at best, shameful at worst.

What’s more, Sanders is an economic determinist — the sort of progressive who sees all injustice through the lens of economic inequality and believes if you fix that, you fix everything else. But this simply isn’t true, nor is it possible to advance economic equality without addressing the gender, and especially racial, inequality on which economic injustice is built.

Even so, contrasted with a Democratic Party that has been self-defeatingly centrist on all of the above issues, Sanders has felt like a breath of fresh, left-wing air, one the nation seems desperately to need and which I have been eager to inhale.

US Sen. Bernie Sanders speaks at a campaign rally in Chicago in March 2019. Sanders, an independent from Vermont, is the longest-serving independent in the history of Congress.

Sanders, right, leads a sit-in organized by the Congress of Racial Equality in 1962. The demonstration was staged to oppose housing segregation at the University of Chicago. It was Chicago's first civil rights sit-in.

Sanders takes the oath of office to become the mayor of Burlington, Vermont, in 1981. He ran as an independent and won the race by 10 votes.

Sanders, right, tosses a baseball before a minor-league game in Vermont in 1984. US Sen. Patrick Leahy, center, was also on hand.

In 1987, Sanders and a group of Vermont musicians recorded a spoken-word folk album. "We Shall Overcome" was first released as a cassette that sold about 600 copies. When Sanders entered the US presidential race in 2015, the album surged in online sales. But at a CNN town hall, Sanders said, "It's the worst album ever recorded."

Sanders reads mail at his campaign office in Burlington in 1990. He was running for the US House of Representatives after an unsuccessful bid in 1988.

In 1990, Sanders defeated US Rep. Peter Smith in the race for Vermont's lone House seat. He won by 16 percentage points.

Sanders sits next to President Bill Clinton in 1993 before the Congressional Progressive Caucus held a meeting at the White House. Sanders co-founded the caucus in 1991 and served as its first chairman.

Barack Obama, then a US senator, endorses Sanders' Senate bid at a rally in Burlington in 2006.

Sanders takes part in a swearing-in ceremony at the US Capitol in January 2007. He won his Senate seat with 65% of the vote.

Sanders chats with Dr. John Matthew, director of The Health Center in Plainfield, Vermont, in May 2007. Sanders was in Plainfield to celebrate a new source of federal funding for The Health Center.

Sanders speaks to reporters in 2010 about the Obama administration's push to extend Bush-era tax cuts. Three days later, Sanders held a filibuster against the reinstatement of the tax cuts. His speech, which lasted more than eight hours, was published in book form in 2011. It is called "The Speech: A Historic Filibuster on Corporate Greed and the Decline of Our Middle Class."

Sanders and US Rep. Jeff Miller, chairman of the House Committee on Veterans' Affairs, walk to a news conference on Capitol Hill in 2014. Sanders was chairman of the Senate Committee on Veterans' Affairs.

In March 2015, Sanders speaks in front of letters and petitions asking Congress to reject proposed cuts to Social Security and Medicare.

In July 2015, two months after announcing he would be seeking the Democratic Party's nomination for President, Sanders spoke to nearly 10,000 supporters in Madison, Wisconsin. "Tonight we have made a little bit of history," he said. "You may know that some 25 candidates are running for President of the United States, but tonight we have more people at a meeting for a candidate for President of the United States than any other candidate has."

Seconds after Sanders took the stage for a campaign rally in August 2015, a dozen protesters from Seattle's Black Lives Matter chapter jumped barricades and grabbed the microphone from the senator. Holding a banner that said "Smash Racism," two of the protesters -- Marissa Johnson, left, and Mara Jacqueline Willaford -- began to address the crowd.

Sanders shakes hands with Hillary Clinton at a Democratic debate in Las Vegas in October 2015. The hand shake came after Sanders' take on the Clinton email scandal. "Let me say something that may not be great politics, but the secretary is right -- and that is that the American people are sick and tired of hearing about the damn emails," Sanders said. "Enough of the emails, let's talk about the real issues facing the United States of America."

Sanders embraces Remaz Abdelgader, a Muslim student, during an October 2015 event at George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia. Asked what he would do about Islamophobia in the United States, Sanders said he was determined to fight racism and "build a nation in which we all stand together as one people."

Sanders waves while walking in a Veterans Day parade in Lebanon, New Hampshire, in November 2015.

Sanders sits with rapper and activist Killer Mike at the Busy Bee Cafe in Atlanta in November 2015. That evening, Killer Mike introduced Sanders at a campaign event in the city. "I'm talking about a revolutionary," the rapper told supporters. "In my heart of hearts, I truly believe that Sen. Bernie Sanders is the right man to lead this country."

Comedian Larry David and Sanders appear together on "Saturday Night Live" in February 2016. David had played Sanders in a series of sketches throughout the campaign season.

Sanders and his wife, Jane, wave to the crowd during a primary night rally in Concord, New Hampshire, in February 2016. Sanders defeated Clinton in the New Hampshire primary with 60% of the vote, becoming the first Jewish candidate to win a presidential primary.

Sanders speaks at a campaign rally in Ann Arbor, Michigan, in March 2016. He won the state's primary the next day, an upset that delivered a sharp blow to Clinton's hopes of quickly securing the nomination.

Sanders speaks at a campaign event in New York's Washington Square Park in April 2016.

Sanders speaks at a rally in Santa Monica, California, in June 2016. He pledged to stay in the Democratic race even though Clinton secured the delegates she needed to become the presumptive nominee.

Sanders endorses Clinton at a rally in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, in July 2016.

Sanders addresses delegates on the first day of the Democratic National Convention in July 2016.

Sanders brings a giant printout of one of Donald Trump's tweets to a Senate debate in January 2017. In the tweet, Trump had promised not to cut Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid.

Sanders thanks supporters after winning re-election to the Senate in November 2018.

Sanders looks at his notes as he watches President Trump deliver the State of the Union address in February 2019. That month, Sanders announced that he would be running for president again.

Sanders hugs a young supporter during a campaign rally in Los Angeles in March 2019.

Sanders addresses the audience at a CNN town hall in Washington in April 2019.

Sanders speaks next to former Vice President Joe Biden at the first Democratic debates in June 2019.

Sanders raises his fist as he holds a rally in Santa Monica, California, in July 2019.

Sanders grabs the hand of US Sen. Elizabeth Warren during the Democratic debates in Detroit in July 2019.

Sanders campaigns at the University of New Hampshire in September 2019. A few days later, he took himself off the campaign trail after doctors treated a blockage in one of his arteries. Sanders suffered a heart attack, his campaign confirmed.

US Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez introduces Sanders at a New York rally after endorsing him for president in October 2019.

In a tense and dramatic exchange moments after a Democratic debate, Warren accused Sanders of calling her a liar on national television. Sanders responded that it was Warren who called him a liar. Earlier in the debate, the two disagreed on whether Sanders told Warren, during a private dinner in 2018, that he didn't believe a woman could win the presidency.

Sanders laughs during a primary-night rally in Manchester, New Hampshire, in February 2020. Sanders won the primary, just as he did in 2016.

A triumphant Sanders raises his fist in San Antonio after he was projected to win the Nevada caucuses.

Sanders and former Vice President Joe Biden talk before a Democratic debate in Charleston, South Carolina, in February 2020.

Sanders addresses supporters during a campaign rally in Grand Rapids, Michigan, in March 2020.

Sanders speaks to reporters in Burlington, Vermont, a day after Super Tuesday II. Sanders said it "was not a good night for our campaign from a delegate point of view" but that he looked forward to staying in the race and taking on Joe Biden in an upcoming debate.

Biden greets Sanders with an elbow bump before the start of a debate in Washington in March 2020. They went with an elbow bump instead of a handshake because of the coronavirus pandemic.

In photos: Former presidential candidate Bernie Sanders

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But then there is Clinton. She is without a doubt one of the most qualified and thoughtful political leaders of her generation. Her work on everything from health care reform to rights for women and girls worldwide is deeply admirable, as is her deep knowledge of every other issue on the domestic and global landscape.

Of course, I don’t agree with many of her judgment calls — from her decision to support the war in Iraq, which reflects her overall hawkishness, to her coziness with Wall Street and historic support for pro-big business trade deals.

And she’s better on racial justice than Sanders, but has yet to adequately account for her past support of legislation that led to decades of over-incarceration of black people she once labeled “superpredators.”

But I agree with Hillary Clinton on the issues far more than I disagree with her. And I suspect she would make one of the most effective, efficient presidents in American history. (Then again, I worry she would be equally effective and efficient on the 10% or so of issues on which we don’t agree.)

Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz visits the Sabrousura Restaurant in the Bronx section of New York on April 6, 2016. Texas Senator Ted Cruz commanded new momentum Wednesday in the race for the White House with a solid Wisconsin primary win, making it harder for frontrunner Donald Trump to clinch the Republican nomination outright.

Related article Ted Cruz is wrong about New York values

My 7-year-old daughter very much wants me to support Clinton. So much so that she’s asked if she can go with me to vote and “press the button” for Hillary (she can’t; it’s illegal, and the vote is mine). So instead she’s been making pro-Hillary signs and argues for Clinton like she’s being fed talking points from the campaign.

She wants a woman to be president. It’s unfair that there hasn’t been one yet, she says. And she’s right.

Related article Bernie and Hillary, stop the nastiness

But do I want this woman to be president? And here I’m reminded of the higher standards applied to women in the public eye, the extra hoops women must jump through, the subtle ways they face extra scrutiny. How much of my reluctance to throw in with Clinton is replicating that sexism? After all, I had almost all the same concerns about Barack Obama in 2008, but I enthusiastically supported his campaign.

So here it is — my list of pros and cons as I weigh how to cast my own, individual vote. I’ll be watching the CNN Democratic Debate in my home borough of Brooklyn on Thursday, April 14, at 9 p.m. on CNN to see how the candidates address these issues — and hopefully to make up my mind.

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